AND TO THE VICTOR, GO THE SPOILS!!!!!
/largest wettest fart sound ever recorded
So if you're like me, you wasted three hours of your life last night...hours you will never get back....hours where every 5 minutes someone said a name and you went "this isnt as cool as the NFL Draft, but meh...its kinda Drafty".... you also have a thing for Asian chicks, and fucking love chicken salad.....but this isnt about how similar we are...this is about the 2012 NBA Draft. The Heat HAD the 27th pick and we were all like "OHHH TICKLE FIGHT!! WHATS INSIDE DADDY CANZ I OPENZ!!?"...then basically the Miami Heat told you look listen kid, we JUST went to Disneyland...so for your birthday we are ordering Hungry Howies, and watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall on FX for the 50th time this month.....I HATE YOU DAD!
The Heat sent the 27th pick to the Sixers for a future 1st rd pick, and the #47 pick last night....which you may have guessed by now is the big white guy above....some call him Justin Hamilton...others call him JHAM....but opponents call him THE UNGUARDABLE SNOW MAN. Hes 7 feet of person...person that looks like your Dad and came to fuck. I saw a video where he absolutely shakes the dick and balls off this invisible dude, and drills the 3...IN YOUR EYE INVISIBLE FUCKER! DONTCHU COME UP IN JHAMS AREA WITH THAT WEAK ASS SAUCE! PICKUP YOUR DICK AND BALLS LOSER!!!
While there were a few guys on the board people thought could help the Heat, lets be real here...we couldnt find minutes for James Jones all season....and Joel Anthony ended the year as the worlds ugliest cheerleader. This team doesnt need Perry Jones the first, much less THE THIRD! Riles put a Lottery protected 1st rd pick in his pocket, a good idea seeing as we dont have a 1st rd pick next year....and the Sixers medium suck all the time...so more than likely the Heat will have a pick in the late teens next season, much better than the pick they SHOULD have...one that belongs to Toronto now in the "here is some stuff to make your vagina hurt less since we just ruined your entire shit and stole Boshy Bear but hey at least you still have Balotellianari or something, right?! right?" trade.
So basically WE DRAFTED A 2013 DRAFT PICK Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
HOPE YOU LIKE LAMB KABOB AND HUMMUS, HAMILTON!